My Bloody Valentine
Many years ago in the ironically-named town of Harmony, the coal mine had an accident, leaving six workers trapped. When rescue workers got to the miners, they found five dead, but not in the way they expected. The sixth one, Harry Warden, had murdered them with his pick axe. When they found the bodies, he was in a coma. But on Valentine’s Day, he wakes up, and goes on a gruesome rampage that leaves corpses abound but four survivors- Tom (Jensen Ackles), Sarah (Jamie King), Axel (Kerr Smith), and Irene (Betsy Rue). Presumed dead (shot by the sheriff and trapped in the mine), the killing stops. Ten years later, however, things have changed- Sarah and Axel (now the sheriff) are married with a young child, Irene is boning a trucker, and Tom- who left shortly after, and was scarred by the events- is back in town to settle the family business (his late father owned the mine). It’s not long, however, until the killing starts up again.
OK, look people. Are you really expecting art from a remake of a 1981 horror/splatter flick, shot in digital 3-D to prove that the gimmick isn’t just for family fare? If you are, “My Bloody Valentine”- directed with keen awareness of its’ own ridiculousness by Patrick Lussier- is definitely not for you. This film has gratuitous nudity (really gratuitous), big-breasted women in tight shirts, dumb hicks, and gore. Lots of gore.
It’s also got an intriguing whodunit story that goes beyond the requirements of such a film. True, some people will have figured out “who done it” long before the explosive ending (literally- there’s an explosion) and gratuitous sequel setup- but Lussier puts the pieces together better than some of his slasher-movie brethren in reworking old material for a new age (see the God-awful “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” remake).
Part of that comes from his approach. Instead of modernizing the film with hip pop culture awareness and a contemporary feel, he uses the small-town setting and unique story- keeping the ways the mine makes the story different from more generic horror entries- to keep the film almost suspended in time (contemporary technology aside), which is something most modern horror movies fail to do. The result lacks hipness but delivers in suspense that carries through the ages. Admittedly, the 3-D is used sparingly and for effect, not really giving one a glimpse of what’s possible for the technique for the future, but Lussier gives us our money’s worth in manipulative thrills. Art it ain’t, but he sure knows how to make an art out of bloody death scenes.
