Godzilla 2000: Millennium
There’s just something about a man in a suit that no amount of CGI can replicate. It’s true in real-life, and it’s true with Godzilla. As much as I liked Gareth Edwards’s 2014 adaptation of the property, more memorable is the Toho Studios monster when he is just a man in a rubber suit. (We’ll just forget the Roland Emmerich abomination for the sake of this discussion.) It’s sillier when it’s a man in a suit, but that’s less because of the monster itself than in most of the stories he appears in, because no one can accuse the 1954 introduction to the monster (the Japanese version, at least) of being a silly movie. The same could not be said about most of the movies that followed in the franchise’s 50-plus years.
“Godzilla 2000” is one of those silly movies in the series’s history, because of course it is. Other than the American version of the original “Godzilla,” subtitled “King of the Monsters,” and starring Raymond Burr, this was my first Toho-produced Godzilla movie. Needless to say, the big guy has seen better days, but this is a fun guilty pleasure regardless. I saw the movie in theatres in August 2000 (at the theatre I would start working at a year later) in an English-dubbed form, and that dubbing is part of it’s charm. Most foreign movies, I’ll read subtitles all day long (and that goes with the original “Godzilla,” as well), but a movie like “Godzilla 2000” is even more entertaining when it has a dumbed down English dialogue track.
One of the interesting aspects of the Godzilla franchise is how it has recast the nuclear lizard over the years, depending on what the story being told dictates. He has been both hero and villain, and sometimes, in the same movie. Here, writers Hiroshi Kashiwabara and Wataru Mimura and director Takao Okawara have him as the villain, although the main story follows a reporter and a father/daughter Godzilla-chasing team (think “Twister”) during Godzilla’s most recent rampage. The fact that this isn’t treated as an aberration, the previous Godzilla attacks have clearly taken place in the context of this film, is fun to consider, but it also begs the question…how have they not shut this monster down before? Are they so incompetent? Or is it just screenwriting convenience that requires Godzilla to live and destroy another day? This would be one of the big guy’s final appearances before the 2014 American version, so I’ll let you decide that for yourself. Here, Godzilla’s monstrous nemesis is…a UFO. That was lifted from out of the ocean. At least Mothra didn’t feel this crazy, but after dozens of movies, you kind of find yourself grasping at straws for what to do next.
It’s impossible to really defend this movie in terms of quality- the performances are ham-handed, the special effects (though charming in their use of miniatures over CG) are on-par with what you’d expect from a Godzilla movie, and the story is just ridiculous. But I defy anyone not to enjoy this movie at least a little bit. The cheesy effects are what makes a Godzilla movie a Godzilla movie when Toho is in charge, and let’s be honest, it’s enjoyable to watch mass destruction, even when it doesn’t hold a candle to the CG-driven nonsense of Hollywood blockbusters like “Independence Day,” especially when it’s two men in rubber suits causing mass havoc with humans just watching on. And then, there is the dialogue in the aforementioned English dialogue track. At some point, I’m sure I will watch this film with the original Japanese track and subtitles, but how can I when the English dub has one of my favorite lines ever uttered in a movie…”This missile will go through Godzilla like crap through a goose.” When I heard that line for the first time, the laughter that emanated was out of genuine delight, not disgust over how cheesy the line is. It’s sincerity infectious, and that’s one of the things that resonates the most with the Toho Godzilla franchise. Yes, it goes to some crazy places, and left the realm of realism long ago, but it’s too fun to really care.
**I watched the Japanese edit of this film, which is about 8 minutes longer, and while I wasn’t sure what exactly was different, the film felt more in keeping with the spirit of the 1954 original than when I watched the dubbed version. It’s still every bit as cheesy in its story, but I’m grateful I have now seen it, and actually own the Blu-Ray with both versions.
