Yoga Hosers
This is Kevin Smith’s strangest movie…and yes, I’ve watched “Tusk.”
When I finally watched “Yoga Hosers” on Netflix, I was not even sure how to process what I had just watched. I’m not going to lie, though; seeing it now for review, and I kind of like it more. Not entirely- it’s still more ridiculous than funny- but it’s so weird and loopy that it’s hard not to enjoy it on a certain level. If you’re watching this film for the first 20-30 minutes, can you honestly say it’s not fun seeing Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp together as the Colleens, the convenience store clerks from “Tusk,” go about their lives, and get beyond excited when they, as sophomores, get invited to a senior party. When the film gets into its plot, that’s when it gets crazy, and I’m not sure if it works. At least “Tusk” feels like a straight line to its wild conclusion.
This film has satanists, yoga, Nazis, a lot of things that make you just know that you’re in Canada- namely, a lot of references to hockey and beavers and maple syrup and “eh” being said a great deal- and ass-exploding creatures with Hitler mustaches. Oh yeah, and Johnny Depp as his weird French-Canadian detective from “Tusk,” Guy Lapointe, who is investigating the creatures at their school’s library. This is such a weird movie.
Kevin Smith is admirable for how he’s been able to go almost entirely independent as a filmmaker after he flamed out with “Cop Out.” He’s got podcasts and does roadshows and is content to just do whatever the Hell he wants after being part of the indie explosion of the ’90s, and basically carving out his niche as the dick-and-fart end of that explosion with his View Askew films like “Clerks,” “Mallrats” and even deeper stuff like “Dogma” and “Clerks II.” With “Tusk” and “Yoga Hosers,” he clearly doesn’t give a shit about the types of movies and stories he tells, and how we react to them. That doesn’t make it good storytelling, though; this movie is basically him riffing on Canadian culture cliches and crazy horror ideas under the guise of a teen comedy starring his daughter and his friend Depp’s daughter. In that way, it’s hard to think of a stronger argument against nepotism in movies outside of Sofia Coppola’s performance in “The Godfather Part III.” So how in the world can I not stop watching this mess of a movie?
Please don’t ask me to explain the story of “Yoga Hosers”- even as I’m watching the movie, it’s impossible to do so, because how the Colleens end up bringing about Nazi bratwurst creatures with their rock band is insanity. The biggest thing to keep in mind is that Smith’s cast- which includes Justin Long as the Colleen’s yoga instructor (known as Yogi Bayer), Haley Joel Osment as a Canadian Nazi leader, Tony Hale as Colleen C. (Lily-Rose)’s father, and Natasha Lyonne as Hale’s lover- is in go-for-broke mode as the lunacy progresses. And it is lunacy by the time a giant hockey mask-wearing monster filled with Nazi creatures is confronted by the Colleens and their yoga skills. Through it all, Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp are quite fun in these roles. They enjoy this material, and are too appealing to keep this from being a complete disaster. It’s still a mess, but the Colleens are winners as they save the day, and go back to their regular routine. That’s “Yoga Hosers” for you.
