G.I. Joe: Retaliation
We waited nine months more for THIS?
To recap: last summer, less than a month before its release, Paramount made the bold decision to hold off its reboot/sequel of its 2009 movie, “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra,” until this year so that they could convert the film to 3D, although there were also rumors that the studio wanted more of Channing Tatum as Duke after Tatum hit it big at the box-office last year. (He was in “Cobra” as the character, but word was he was killed off early in the film.) Finally seeing the film, Paramount made a smart decision for one reason…it would have gotten crushed last summer. Unfortunately, the movie itself assures that, regardless of when its released, it’s going to fail pretty hard. (Spoiler Alert: The more Duke-Tatum rumor was just that, so if you’re going because of the “Magic Mike” star, you’ll be in for a disappointment.)
To be fair, writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick have a decent story to tell in how Cobra infiltrates the US government, and takes out the Joe unit in an attempt to hold the world hostage for its own, nefarious purposes, but it’s visualized in a completely brain-dead fashion by director Jon M. Chu (some of the “Step Up” movies), who actually proves himself to be step down from “Rise of Cobra” director Stephen Sommers, if anyone thought that was possible. And thank God the producers brought Dwayne Johnson on board as Roadblock, who finds himself leading the Joes after the Cobra attack. Johnson is just right for breathing life into this franchise, as is Ray Park, returning as Snake Eyes, and Bruce Willis in a fun cameo as an original member of the Joes. But while the 3D conversion isn’t terrible, it’s definitely not enough to make me think this series is going to go anywhere in the future.
