Creepshow
George A. Romero is best known, of course, for his “Dead” franchise. Starting with 1968’s iconic “The Night of the Living Dead,” Romero redefined the zombie movie and has, for four decades, been using his tales of the dead rising from the grave for all sorts of social commentary, most memorably in 1978’s “Dawn of the Dead.” And then there was “Day of the Dead.” “Land of the Dead.” “Diary of the Dead.” And this year’s “Survival of the Dead.” All decent horror fodder, all with a specific level of commentary on modern (for the day) American culture.
In 1982 however, before “Day of the Dead,” Romero teamed up with another icon of horror, author Stephen King, for an anthology of fright called “Creepshow.” Five tales of the macabre. All of which blended dark humor with comic book horror (inspired by the old EC Comic anthologies, which also inspired “The Simpsons’s” annual “Treehouse of Horror” episodes) for a bizarre cinematic experience. Admittedly, nowadays it’s less scary than wickedly funny. But at its best, “Creepshow” is still a delicious and diabolical treat.
The first story is “Father’s Day,” about a well-to-do family that celebrates Father’s Day with, well, a bit of a dark twist to it. Several years ago, Aunt Bedelia (Viveca Lindfors) was reported to have murdered her crotchety old father, who kept yelling at her for his Father’s Day cake. All these years, the family (including the daughter’s new husband, played by Ed Harris) has continued to gather in “celebration.” This year, though, daddy has a dark surprise for his family, getting his cake and eating it to, if you will.
Up next is “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill,” in which King himself plays a redneck farmer who has a meteor land on his property. Verrill sees financial gain, but what he gets is the worst case of green thumb anyone has ever seen. King is clearly enjoying playing a country bumpkin without a bit of sense in his head, but otherwise, there’s not much to his story. But then again, with King enjoying himself so much, and eventually covered with grass, there’s not much that you need.
The third story, “Somthing to Tide You Over,” is a classic, and begins the film’s upward momentum to classic status. It stars Leslie Nielsen, not yet better known completely as a bumbling buffoon of parody humor, as an older husband who has his own way of dealing with the infidelity of his wife and her lover (Ted Danson). If you weren’t scared about the idea of being buried alive, with the tide gradually making its way up, you will be after this. Nielsen is wickedly convincing as a man who wants revenge on his wife and her lover, and the way the scenario plays out, you can’t help but admit to feeling some sympathy for everyone. For Nielsen for the betrayal he feels. For the lovers for their fate. Don’t worry though–as a wise cinematic villain once said, revenge is a dish best served cold. Or just plain unexpected.
The fourth story, “The Crate,” is the one that’s had the longest lasting impact on me. It stars Hal Holbrook as Henry, a college professor whose wife Billy (Adrienne Barbeau) is a loud-mouthed bitch. She’s annoying, insufferable. Honestly, I don’t know how Henry puts up with her. If only he could get rid of her some way. One day, a janitor finds a crate underneath the stairs. It has a date on it of 1834. There are cobwebs all over it. This can’t be good. And for the janitor who found it, it isn’t. But for Henry, it’s a perfect opportunity. If only he could get her down there… “The Crate” is a masterpiece, filled with gallows humor, genuine scares, and an ending where everyone finds peace. And then there’s the creature–an ancient animal that’s one of the most vicious in all of horror. This is Romero and King at their bloodthirsty best, with a story of genuine terror that rivals “Night of the Living Dead,” “The Shining,” and “It” as some of the best work either has done.
The fifth tale of terror they have in store, “They’re Creeping Up On You,” is anything but a letdown, however. It stars E.G. Marshall as a Howard Hughes-like billionaire who keeps himself locked away in a germ-proof room in an apartment complex. To call him crotchety is an understatement. To say he finds himself in his own worst nightmare is a bigger one when cockroaches make their way into his apartment. To say it has one of the best endings of any horror story is another understatement. You gotta love how these guys know how to exact movie justice.
After a slow start, “Creepshow” turns into a macabre delight, with a comic book structure that keeps things light, music that gets to the dark, sinuous heart of the stories, and images that linger in the memory. The monster of “The Crate.” Lovers buried neck deep in sand in “Something to Tide You Over.” The creepy crawly cockroaches of “They’re Creeping Up On You.” A dead father who got the cake he wanted in “Father’s Day.” And poor Jordy Verrill, covered in grass, with a shotgun to his head. And then there’s the end of the wrap around sequence, with a son using a voodoo doll on his domineering father. It may not be perfect, but I’ll be damned if King and Romero don’t know how to make a perfectly creepy good time.
