Imposter (Short)
I’ve dealt with some form of anxiety and stress for pretty much my entire adult life, as well as most of the 30 years I’ve spent in Georgia. Of course, the idea that I “dealt” with it prior to 2008, when I began taking medication, and going to therapy, is kind of hilarious, but I’ve certainly been aware of my issues my whole adult life. When it latches on to you, it doesn’t matter if it’s something as simple as remembering to do something, dealing with a health issue, or something work related or creative- when your personal anxiety takes over, it can make us unrecognizable to not just people around us, but ourselves.
His 10-minute short, “Imposter,” shows that writer-director Chris Esper understands this acutely, as I’m sure many other creative individuals do. When you create art, regardless of what the art is, you are sharing an intimate piece of yourself, and that’s scary. It’s also when your anxiety can reach its highest levels outside of a romantic relationship. I’ve had that happen plenty of times when it comes to my music, and when it doesn’t necessarily seem as though people are paying attention to you, not only does it make you feel invisible, it can make you feel like you don’t matter. Esper gets this, and “Imposter” may be quiet and subtle, but it’s powerful to watch, as well.
We begin by seeing a businessman at his desk. He has someone next to him, whispering in his ear. No one really seems to notice this, but he does, and his anxiety ramps up when his bosses try to ask him a question, and he can’t really provide an answer. He’s on a bus, his someone still next to him, and he sees a woman there with someone next to her with a painting. The woman was at an art show where one of her pieces was on display, but no one seemed to notice. Everyone on the bus has a similar story, similar pains they are going through, until one of them does something about it.
There isn’t a lot of dialogue in the film, and there doesn’t need to be- the images Esper puts on-screen, and the score, puts us in the headspace Esper is working in just fine. Movies like this matter to someone who has struggled with their own forms of anxiety over the years, and who, as he turns 41, understands that there is a stigma against mental illness, and the ways we discuss mental illness, that we need to change for the benefit on not just people with serious mental illness issues, but people who, sometimes, just feel like they can’t shut their mind off at times, and are worried that it might mean something about them. This is a film that acknowledges the simple truth that, while we feel like it sometimes, we’re not alone in our struggles. “Imposter” is beautiful.
