Like a Dirty French Novel
There’s a certain irony about a film called “Like a Dirty French Novel” being in English and Spanish, and not a French person around. Then again, in an early scene, one of the characters turns Orson Welles’s “Touch of Evil,” which had Charlton Heston as a Mexican, so it kind of makes sense. That’s the type of thing you point out in a review of a film like this, though, and never again, unless it’s that much of a hindrance to the film. It isn’t.
The title isn’t intended to be taken literally, though, but evocative of a style and personality for this film. As written by Mike Cuenca, Ashlee Elfman and Dan Rojay (with Cuenca and Rojay writing the screenplay), and directed by Cuenca, this is a trashy and bizarre film noir with interconnected stories and vignettes that take place during a pandemic, and at a point where people are intended to self-quarantine, or wear masks outside. I’ll admit- I did not expect a pandemic noir to cross my path, but I’m glad I did, and it’s a wild, enjoyable ride.
The first story we get is about a couple self-quarantined in an apartment. Well, they aren’t a couple anymore, leaving Hue (Robby Valls) to spend a lot of his time in the bathroom…to sleep, while Crystal (Jennifer Daley) has much of the apartment to herself. One day, Hue gets a call from a mystery woman (Laura Urgelles) who seems to know an awful lot about him. She’s a bit horny, and the questions get intimate. When she recommends they meet, though, it doesn’t go quite as planned.
Next up, we get a story of brothers and murder and robbery, as a couple of hitmen kidnap one twin (Grant Moninger), but not the right twin. The way their story ends almost leads into another story, as a new-to-town Lane (Amanda Viola) doesn’t really know anyone, but meets a man (Aaron Bustos) in the park one day, and hits it off. That then brings us back to Hue, Crystal, and the caller, but not in the way you might expect.
This film is pure pulp, and a weird hit of dark humor, crime thriller and maybe a little bit of the supernatural thrown in, along with the perversity. At 78 minutes, you’ll either go along with its mixture of elements and the characters or you won’t. I enjoyed it, even a weird interlude like a strange woman orders an exotic magazine over the phone. If all of “Like a Dirty French Novel” had the same wicked tone throughout- some scenes out in the desert don’t really work- it could have been a delicious, exploitative funhouse of the highest order; as it is, it’s a collection of short films that might have been better served in that that format instead.
LIKE A DIRTY FRENCH NOVEL (2021) – Teaser Trailer from Mike Cuenca on Vimeo.
