The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
The first couple of minutes of this third film from Stephanie Meyer’s vampire franchise are really good actually. Dark, energetic, propulsive (courtesy of Howard Shore’s score), and uneasy in the way a good horror movie is. Say this for director David Slade (who previously directed 2007’s “30 Days of Night”): he knows what a good vamp movie should be…
…it’s too damn bad he’s stuck with a script by Melissa Rosenberg (who’s written for the dark and delightful “Dexter” for crying out loud!) and a storyline that delves into horrid teen movie cliches this franchise just can’t seem to get enough of. I mean, really? Kristen Stewart has been great before (think “The Runaways,” “In the Land of Women,” “Panic Room,” “Into the Wild”)– how is it that she’s so bland and boring as this supposedly tormented teen girl in love with a brooding vampire (Robert Pattinson’s Edward Cullen is just as dull-fanged as ever)? Oh right, she’s a teenage girl in love with a vampire– are we really surprised every emotion is built up to such melodramatic levels?
In reality, the reason these films all pretty much suck comes down to the same thing: Stephanie Meyer’s source material and Melissa Rosenberg’s adaptation. Three directors (“Twilight’s” Catherine Hardwicke, “New Moon’s” Chris Weitz, now Slade) have tried to inject life into this franchise on-screen, but none have been capable of it. And three brilliant composers (“Twilight’s” Carter Burwell, “New Moon’s” Alexandre Desplat, now Shore) have brought their artistry to the musical landscape of this franchise, but as gifted as all three are, they can’t hide the fact that these stories are dull as dishwater. Pick your poison: the pissing contest between Edward and werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner, still often shirtless), the “threat” of red-headed Victoria (now played by Bryce Dallas Howard) and her hoard of “newborns” terrorizing Seattle, the needlessly convoluted storyline (although a flashback with Cullen take-in Jasmine is intriguing), the tent scene (think the fireplace scene in “Star Wars: Episode II” but worse), or Bella’s father trying to be fatherly. Sigh…
Still, Slade (who also did “Hard Candy” with Ellen Page) is capable of keeping the energy up, and when the action gets going, he does a good job holding my interest. But even he can’t make me care about what happens with these characters as the film builds to a conclusion for which we will have to wait a couple years since “Breaking Dawn” is being split into two films. That one is being directed by Bill Condon, who directed “Gods and Monsters” and “Dreamgirls.” If you’ve seen those films, you know Condon is a filmmaker capable of blending flash and feeling like few others. If he can breathe the same kind of life into Meyer’s epic, he might have another possibility for an Oscar… or a Pulitzer.
